Ruling the world and what is M7 smoking.

We have heard and read stories of great conquests. How this Mongolian chap captured vast territories and Napoleon too with great desires to conquer Russia which proved difficult to swallow and he met his water loo.

The communist China today is very bsuy doing capitalist things and is the major trading partner of several African countries. Business in China is fast paced, dynamic and you blink u miss. 

I had an engagement with a Chinese  chap and within five minutes a bond had been formed; enough for him to ask if I was ready to sign up for a multi million USD deal. In order to sign my Ugandan partners needed to give me an OK. A quick call and I was instructed to first return to Uganda and discuss. Its three years and we are still discussing. Stuck in the impasse of Government etuyambe.

The new world order favours the quick. People who are dynamic and embrace ambiguity. People with the ability to chew gum while juggling conflicting balls in the air. The race belongs to the swift.

Since December we have been suffering holiday hangover. The lethargy in Government offices and an I don’t care attitude; how shall we become a middle income country.  While the goal is laudable the weakest link is the human resources… Attitudes, attitudes attitudes! What is M7 smoking to have confidence in such a hopless lot!

Onduparaka

With a mouthful of a name, it’s diehard fans swear its an abbreviation, dark and lanky with a passionate and most enthusiastic followers they hold in their palms the future of Uganda’s football dreams. How they emerged to prominence is a tale worthy of legends; having killed giants to take their rightful place in the field of men.

From the heartland of what once constituted Lado Republic they streamed in droves to battle the name that once sent chills across East Africa, Gor Mahia!

The rain’s valiant attempt to dampen spirits fell flat and drums, and whistles, and vuvuzelas, and carrying human voices carried sway in Namboole Stadium; there was enough excitement and the air was thick with pregnant expectation. 

A mistimed ball almost caused a collective heart attack. Recovering from this blunder Onduparka, all the way from west Nile scored …loud sirens, deafening applause echoed through the stadium bouyed on by the latest supporter; a famous two finger waving politician. 

It helps to watch football in beautiful company and even better when a mutual convergence of likes is catalysed by a beauteous win. From here it can only bet bigger and better! Key points to keep in mind are : focus, determination, and discipline…..Bravo little caterpillars.

Value Added and Value Creation; lessons from Chef

Lately I have been taking more than a cursory interest in food TV shows; where chef on the edge of madness strive to take food to the next level. In the process propelling them to great heights as celebrities with great.economic rewards. I have seen and watched appprentice cooks pushed to great extremes to transform ordinary ingredients into amazing dishes, elevated and respected.

Then there is the whole matter of plating or “mise end place” putting everything in place. It takes a whole meal into an art form. The lessons involving leadership, passion, teamwork, creativity and customer satisfaction are the pillars of the culinary arts.  Tell me which one does not apply to your organization.

Behind all this rush and bustle there is a process, a line and a pass plus clear roles for all the players inna high end diner.

But all those are matters for another day. What I wanted to highlight was the value addition; in these TV shows are the chefs selling food or selling entertainment? For the costs of the plate might not bring the jets and the limos but the entrance of TV did. The TV is value addition and for that they get paid top dollar.

Think about it from a potato, a coffee grown in KASESE Ruwenzori Mountains, through the millers until its brought on screen to be appreciated by billions across the globe. How far can you go with value addition? When you figure that out send me the thank you cheque. Arrevedici.

The Faint Heart. (A short Story)

I watched Auric bypass a particular gate once, twice, thrice; all the time craning his neck as if to will it to by pass the obstacles in his path like a snake necked Camera. I recognized, instantaneously, the symptoms. (The busy reader is advised to devote his time to his daily toil for pelth as this yarn will not add an iota to your purse or to render wisdom to your head. This is one of those idle ones conceived by a near demented soul battling insomnia.)

Just a few day previously, and just one hundred metres from the very spot I had been conducting the exact maneuvers. It was the maneuver of a faint hearted lover propelled by his desires to see the object of his amorous torments, but lacks sufficient courage to cross the threshold into her conpund where he might confess his desires. Quick as a whistle, I took to looking for assistants; I had hatched a grand scheme that would be the fuel for the courage he lacked.

I needed a willing conspirator; this one after bouts of hilarious laughter consented to avail me the use of her handwriting to write what was written which I now disclose,

“Dear Auric,

Hope this letter finds you well. I had hoped you would be at home when I came but you were not around. A bit disappointing …we have lots to talk about. See you soon

Love C.

dedication: Lady in Red.

I rubbed my hand in glee basking in awe of my intelligence. I then sought conspirator number two. With a sweet in the hand I told an innocent young man to deliver it to the besotted swain and to swear to the heavens that, “some girl had delivered the said letter.”

And so there I was at my command post, reading a comic book with bland jokes like:

Man A: Every time I close my eyes I see green pigs.

Man B: Have you seen a Doctor?

Man A: No …only green pigs.

In short dry and bland jokes to while away the idle hour. In bursts a blubbering swain, letter in hand. Smiling from ear to ear. I took the letter from his outstretched hand and after reading it pronounced the verdict.

“You must see her! No girl after overcoming the veil of modesty and writing to her lover needs the lover to leave her unattended.” 

Shushing his protestations I egged him on. Now a crowd of his peers had gathered and the strength of our eyes on his back was just about enough to push him through the gates. He emerged ten minutes later. Up to this day he has never told us what exactly transpired.

RIP Field Marshal Oketa

Posterity will confirm on Major General Oketa the rank of 5 Star General. The gentleman, and I use this word consciously, negotiated never out of fear but rather deep seated conviction and cognisant of the common good.

The president has been brief in his narrative of how Major General joined the NRA. May be there are reasons for that. Many will remember a tough standoff at the Masaka barracks as the NRM was matching to Kampala. Then a Lieutenant mounted a stiff resistance…only siege and complete cut off of the communication lines could break the resolve of the men under the command of the Afande Julius. 

Having been recruited into NRM he fought resiliently at the famous battle of Corner Kilak defending the state against forces of Lakwena and others. Afande fought against EBola and won…he was now posited to fight against poverty. The foundation he set should give us the courage to finish what he started. 

Rest in peace Comrade.. brother, Friend and patriot! Till we meet again aurevoir. 

Ponzi Schemes, Pyramid Marketing and a Doubting Pajulean

Apparently, a chap going by the name Ponzi hatched an ingenious way of making money. You are recruited into buy a good or service train; as you buy a portion of money is cut and given to another chap. You then recruit others and many and there is a rummy cut and share arrangement which is to build into real money; wealth of avarice.
I care little for the numbers for am all too aware if it looks like a con, smells like s con, it must be a con! It was Adam Smith’s dictum that has cemented my cardinal dealing with humanity, ” it is not from the benevolence of the butcher, the baker and the brewer that we owe our dinner; but for their regard for their own self interest!” In short there is no free lunch; self advancement must be propelled on the oil of ones sweat blood and tears; with energy, cunning and unbeatable resolve. Having defined the goal relentlessly pursue it; pausing only a while to wipe the blood sweat and tears.

This falls neatly in the anecdote of the chap who went to a village which was living in terror of monkeys. They, the monkeys, teased women, stole crop and made life a misery for the village folk.

The genial man proposed to buy monkeys from the villagers at 5USd. He promptly paid for these monkeys and kept in a big cage behind his rented house. Soon however, monkeys became fewer and harder to catch and the villagers left looking for monkeys to tend to other matters. 

The genial man increased the monkey price to 20 USD. The village went back to hunting monkeys and the stock in the cage grew. Soon however the monkeys were so few that the 20USd did not seem worth it. So the chap went to their ways.

The genial man said he would now pay 50USD per monkey. He had some urgent business to attend in town but he would leave his trusted assistant to collect the monkeys. Before the man had disappeared the trusted assistant told the villagers that instead of breaking limb they should buy monkeys from him at 35 USD on cash basis and sell to the genial man for 50 USD. 

You know how the story ends don’t you? That my dear fellow is how Ponzi schemes work. Good day. 

Isingiro Shame Shame 

The pathetic images from Isingiro where Ugandans are struggling with one meal a day, selling family jewels for pittance is deplorable, despicable and utterly unacceptable. 

We have been informed time and time again, and nature has also availed her callous proofs; of landslides, high temperatures, uncertain rain patterns indicative  curious changing climate conditions of today. Why have we not taken steps to mitigate against this?

You know the Dutch having critically assessed their conditions and the risks attendant to their geographical area decided to build dykes to tame the inclement weather. The raging drought and vissitudes of climate change is inviting us to critically consider our own environment and build safe guards necessary to prevent despair, sufferation and death.

Moreover this is in a country with widest potential and no doubt potential of leveraging resources from one end to fill food gaps in another. Coincidentally, as the images were unfolding; rib bones of cows exposed by their prominence, dead carcasses and dying carcasses, a colleague sent me a picture of lash grassland heading steadily towards maturity.

This is a failure of leadership at all levels. I would enjoin the number one man to crack the whip and save Isingorians.